I’m Back, Baby!

≡ Category: Memos |5 Comments

No, just kidding. Still keeping it printy over at the TFP.

But I have fallen to the Twitter collective, and it’s an artificial high that I just can’t part with. So if’n you have the late night craving for short, undeveloped thoughts, please follow me. I might follow you too. I mean in real life. Driving a green El Camino. Yeah, that’ll be me.

There’s also a Treehouse Fort Twitter (Tweet-house Fort?) that Tuffy and I are taking gentle care of from time to time. That’s where most of the sportsy ruminations that aren’t UT or BGSU will be collected.

Okay. Back to being dormant. [pretends to be asleep]

This Space For Rent

≡ Category: Memos |3 Comments


Usually when a site closes up shop, there’s all sorts of profound reflection on the great years, the great posts, and the feeling that, hey, I’m gonna miss this thing. And some of that’s very true here at the Futon Report, but honestly this blog was very poorly maintained, and you can probably blame the publishers of all the wonderful sites that offered me writing opportunities for that. Specifically, Leitch/Daulerio, Brooks, EO, and MM were all so gracious to take a chance and let me run free on their publications, there was really nobody except for a handful of friends and readers who said, “hey, how come you haven’t posted yet?”

Also, two server crashes and 18 months of lost blog posts can really discourage one from trying to continue on. But that doesn’t mean it was all bad. I’ve met and made friends as a result of developing this blog. One reader even offered me a ticket to probably the best ballgame I’ve ever attended in exchange for a pair of limited edition Futon Report t-shirts for him and his wife.

But it’s been three years, and I’ve made the decision to stop posting here on a regular* basis. But I’m not quitting. On the contrary, I’m moving my regular 1-3 posts a week to the Toledo Free Press website, which almost makes perfect sense since the column I’ve done for them since 2006 has the same name as this website.

Henceforth, all my postings shall be found here, with the RSS feed being, well, that link I just shared. This website shall stand more as a portfolio of my ongoing typing throughout the Internet, so it won’t be horrible if you keep it bookmarked, although it’s certainly not a bad idea if you discard this.

There’s also another project in the works; I’ll probably announce it here when it’s live then proclaim “no mas” for futonreport.net. Shall anything else arise — say, if I decide to revive the Daily Sussman eight years removed or if I become the new wicker furniture columnist for Better Homes And Gardens — you’ll probably hear about it on this webpagesite.

Hopefully you weren’t expecting some grandiose finale to futonreport.net; going out like this is probably more fanfare than what is deserved. Actually, if the server were to collapse upon itself like a supernova in April, that would be wholly appropriate.

See you all on the TFP, and anywhere else my cybernetic thoughts may roam.

This week on “Blogger Is A Newspaper Writer,” a stalwart Toledoan thinks the city should be annexed back into Michigan if the Wolverines beat Ohio State. Will he make jokes? Will nobody but himself laugh? Will he find out the father of his child? Tune in next time!

You write about Tom Amstutz and:

• A local TV sports anchor comments
• You avoid the all-too-easy “Tom Amstutz leaves a void on the sideline that no one man can technically fill” joke

Also, there was a live blog of sorts Saturday night, wherein Texas Tech dropped 56 points on a Top 10 team. It’s hard to believe that, with Alabama and TTU as the remaining unbeaten power conference teams, neither was ranked higher than 12th to start the season.

Remember when I posted stuff on the Futon Report, back in the day? Those were good times. Things are dying down now, so more postings here, hopefully.

TFP: Booby Tuesday

≡ Category: Football, MAC |1 Comment

While I don’t really have a great excuse for the lack of MACSploitation updates, I will say the conference is not out of my minds (although, seriously, does EVERY team in the East have two conference losses already?). The proof is in this week’s TFP version of the Futon Report, denouncing Tuesday night football.

Four games. That’s all the conference gets this week. Eight of the 13 teams will squat on their barcalounger this Saturday. Five teams aren’t playing this week, because two are on bye weeks, but three either played in last Tuesday’s game or next Tuesday’s game.

The BG-Northern Illinois game is kinda-sorta on TV. Lord, I’m afraid of that one.

msussman.gifWhy, hi, everyone. The live blogginess and speed readability, coupled with a couple of hours of actual, honest, Real Job endeavors, it’s finally time to check back in with this here site. What’s in the news? Well, it’s … other sites.

If’n you didn’t notice, the Toledo Free Press up and chucked their old site and overhauled it. A couple thoughts:

• Wordpress? Ha. You can tell it’s a new-age newspaper when they use the same software that powers my blog.
• Look at what you can do on the front page! You can, like, scroll over “sports,” and there’s my name. Pow. Right there with the other experts. I have to say, I’ve never been a rollover item before.
• So, on my new author index, I, um, didn’t write most of that.
• God, I need a new headshot.

Most delightfully, though, is the addition of comments to articles, as evidenced by this weekend’s apology to Eastern Michigan and Ypsilanti, which sure enough irritated some EMU fans. (Ever see EMU smack talk before? It’s FREAKY.) This probes what I’ve thought all along about my TFP columns: there have been countless spiteful and vindictive thoughts from dissatisfied readers that went completely unheard, and I for one now feel deprived of them. Fortunately the right has been wronged, somewhat, and we can all move on in our lives having been enriched with nuggets such as:

I heard that EMU may have burned a jersey in the locker room after the game and at first I thought that was insulting to Bowling Green but after hearing about how negative and unprofessional the press has been towards Eastern Michigan University I wish they had burned the jersey right on the 50 yard line.

Also, look! Stock quotes!

radioannouncer.jpgThis, here, is quite scary. The Toledo Free Press, a newspaper with words and pages and ink, recently pushed out some radio ads to the local market promoting each of their sections. Unlike their print edition, the commercials themselves were poorly edited, for they did not catch the slip-up where they mentioned my name in their commercial about their sports section. And because of this, they left it in.

You are subliminally obliged to buy Matt Sussman today. You can’t beat these prices!

Despite its low center of gravity, you can still tip the Futon Report.