jmu_whobeatwho.jpgI always love the iterative “this team lost to this team who lost to this team” chain of dominance that’s constructed every year. This year, though, all logical roads point to James Madison as being the best team in the land, and therefore the BCS champion.

For those not in the know, Championship subdivision powerhouse JMU is ranked 21st in Jeff Sagarin’s computer poll, and their 48-24 win over William & Mary secured them as the godfather of football. William & Mary went on to beat New Hampshire, who beat Army, who beat Eastern Michigan, who pretty much created this entire mess with their wins over CMU and BG. (Notre Dame wasn’t entirely helpful either. As usual.)

What about the Big XII three? Original theorist Ryne Crabb explains:

Oklahoma lost to Texas, who lost to Texas Tech, who lost to Oklahoma. Since neither of those three teams can figure out which one is the best, to hell with them all.

Well, then. That takes care of all loose ends. Kind of like in Ultima IV: Quest of the Avatar needed a spot for the humility virtue, so they just put it off to the side.

(Fun fact: the JMU Dukes’ only loss? Duke. I guess I should throw the Blue Devils logo at the top. But I won’t, because this guy didn’t.)

James Madison is in the FCS Final Four, squaring off against Montana on Friday night to play for the Division I Championship in — where else? — Chattanooga, Tennessee. He notes that if JMU loses to Montana, the BCS champion can be traced all the way down to 1-11 Idaho State. I’m sure it’s possible to go down the line to Division II and beyond, but please don’t make me chart that.

SportsByBrooks has this new morning feature called the “Speed Read,” and it’s worth mentioning that I’m going to be pitching in a couple times a week on it. Case in point: this morning. Looky.

The answer may surprise you! Or vomit. Take your pick.

(HT: My co-worker Ryan)

shawnkemp.jpgAnd it was growing right there in the ground. Eat more tofu!

Scientists who just happened to have large amounts of soy-based and sperm-based substances have determined that the more you eat of the former, the less you produce of the latter. (Please, please, please, do NOT get that backwards.) So basically lovers of tofu have less of a chance to procreate than your garden variety animal killer. Read more

Despite its low center of gravity, you can still tip the Futon Report.