Making signs at sporting events is a tricky craft. There are so many rules of decency and tackiness that it becomes rather futile to make a poster and bring it to the game, if for no other reason, because the guys behind you will get ridiculously pissed off. But more to the point, signs which pimp the station covering the game are basically accepted as “selling out.” The nexus of this are the individuals who construct those fabulous “SPORTSCENTER IS NEXT” posters.

Are people that desperate to be on national television for five seconds that they’ll stoop to dedicate time and material to the scheduled programming following the game? Maybe it’d make more sense to advertise your own cause: “PARTY AT BRETT’S, 142 MAPLE STREET.”

Having said that, can we have a moratorium on any and all “Priceless” stadium posters? Read more

vladkonst.jpgEleven years ago, you may recall, was the tragic limousine crash that crippled Detroit Red Wings defenseman Vladimir Konstantinov; it appears he’s still battling the courts, this time the dealer of the limo, because it was defective. It’s probably a solid case, and one definitely worth pursuing. Car was bad. Company sold car. Company’s fault.

So enter the witness stand, hockey great Ted Lindsay. Perhaps he saw the accident unfold. Or he’s performed surgical operations to help Konsantinov’s recovery. Maybe he has expertise on that particular Ford model. Or…

“He was the greatest machine in the world,” Lindsay told the jury of five men and three women. Today, “I see this vegetable and to me it just kind of makes me sick (compared) to what was the greatest hockey player in the world.”

Ah. Read more

walleyenaming.jpgThe selection of Wally as the mascot name of Toledo Walleye could be trumped in shocking selections only by Raul Castro as successor to the president of Cuba. But nevertheless, The Blade and The Andersons are holding a contest to name the mascot.

My vote: Chuck Fin-ley. Now, someone submit that for me. I’m out of stamps. Toledo Blade

Despite its low center of gravity, you can still tip the Futon Report.