SportsByBrooks has this new morning feature called the “Speed Read,” and it’s worth mentioning that I’m going to be pitching in a couple times a week on it. Case in point: this morning. Looky.

this shirt is NOT maize and blueImage by hail2thesuss via FlickrThe G…. Game of the Week? Between two 2-2 teams, an undefeated team trudging along after the horrific Dante Love collision, and WMU trying to improve to 4-1 against Temple, the televised/featured MAC Game of the Week is freaking Eastern Michigan and Northern Illinois? Sure, I know they probably determine these things before they suit up their laces, but how can even in July people in suits look at this game and say, “Yep, EMU and NIU will be the game to watch.” Just because a game ends 6-3 doesn’t mean it will be an exciting showdown between two evenly-matched teams. Gah.

12 noon — NIU (1-2, 0-1) at EMU (1-3, 0-1) ESPN Game Plan
To echo Norm McDonald, “Happy Birthday, Jesus! Hope you like crap!”

12 noon — Kent St. (1-3) at Ball St. (4-0) ESPN Game Plan
I still think the Cardinals have a real chance to go undefeated, even without the services of Dante Love. Perhaps they have even more incentive to run the table with their senior on the sidelines cheering them on.

2:00 p.m. — VMI (2-1) at Ohio (0-4) The hills (because, see, they have eyes)
Boo? Boo Jackson? Dark One? Beelzebub? Chief? McCloud!

2:00 p.m. — WMU (3-1, 1-0) at Temple (1-3, 0-1) Hell, the NSA has everything monitored, ask them for a copy
Could this be the first ever win for Temple over the Broncos? For the first time, consider it a solid “maybe.”

3:30 p.m. — Cincinnati (2-1) at Akron (2-2) FSN Ohio
Not a fair fight in football. Yet somehow a fair fight in baseball.

4:00 p.m. — Buffalo (2-2, 1-0) at CMU (2-2, 1-0) Alternate Dimension ESPN Game Plan
Suddenly CMU doesn’t look like the prohibitive favorite anymore, says Mark Torosian of the Bleacher Report. And out of nowhere … Buffalo kind of does. Ladies and gentlepeople, your Official Non-Official MAC Game of the Week.

4:00 p.m. — BG (1-2) at Wyoming (2-2) The Mountain
First Boise, Idaho. Now Laramie, Wyoming. If this is BG’s clever way of trying to become a West coast mid-major team, I’m not impressed.

7:00 p.m. — Florida Int’l (0-3) at Toledo (1-2) BCSN
Glass Bowl, meet Ned. Ned, Glass Bowl.

whereiseveryone.jpgWhat you see before you is the end-product of scheduling a sports panel at BlogWorld Expo on a Sunday morning in Las Vegas. Having six people on a panel is a smart move, which guarantees a 50 percent retention rate. It also guarantees me some sweet elbow room.

In conclusion, you now know why I skimped out on my MACsploitation duties. But while that was happening, I was riffing on BG during its bye week for the TFP (which you apparently can’t click on!), and doing much over at BC, including bonding with David Foster Wallace fans, recording a radio show in a clam-shaped chair, and not owning an iPhone.

Normalcy to resume this week with a MACsplotation podcast, liveblogocracy, and perhaps some long-awaited SbBrooksage — all of which will cause Gary Sheffield to bullrush my futon.

(Photo courtesy Dewey Hammond/Yardbarker)

Winding down a rousing weekend in Vegas, I decided to take my first venture into a sportsbook with the following wager:

buschbet.jpg

4½-1 odds! That’s a pretty good payoff if it happens. And how’d he/I do?

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All right, I kind of deserved that.

Fifteen minutes of your life will be wasted well spent on this. From the Buffalo-Temple game to Ball State’s potential undefeated run to people picking Western Michigan basketball over LSU football.

And I think I got the sound levels a little better controlled. But not much.

In case you missed it on Saturday, the game of the day might’ve been the touchdown swaps by Buffalo and Temple in the final minute. Drew Willy’s the guy who threw it. Naaman Roosevelt is the receiver. Temple gets to be the team that loses on the final play in consecutive weeks. Temple, in this metaphor, is the San Diego Chargers. And Buffalo, to fill out this alternative NFL parallel, can be … well, I guess, Buffalo.

NFL Week 2

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DJ Gallo might have something here with his NFL weekly wrap article. ESPN

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Perhaps I ought to be grateful that with a 1-2 start, BG is still projected as a bowl team by one guy who works for a major sports news organization. Fair enough. But some things in life just shan’t be lived through again.

notv.jpgWhen the selling point on the press release is “two of our games are televised!” it better mean that (a) there are only three games this weekend, or (b) the majority of cable channels are having a blackout this weekend because they forgot to pay their bills. Alas, six games go untelevised, which means it’s up to me to decide which off-brand local station will pick up the games. Because everyone needs their MAC football. Ev. Ry. 1.

12 noon — Temple (1-1) at Buffalo (1-1) ESPN+

They were once jokes. Now they’re less funny jokes. Winner is my sleeper pick to win the MAC East until further notified by way of bad loss.

12 noon — Toledo (0-1) at Eastern Michigan (1-1) the eyes of about 5,000 Ypsilantians

Get this. EMU’s favored in this game. By two points. Absolutely will this game not be won by the second best team in Washtenaw County. (Read: Pioneer High School)

1:00 p.m — Ball State (2-0) at Akron (1-1) Who’s want to watch it anyway?

KEEP THEM ALIVE! ONLY MAC TEAM THAT CAN GO UNDEFEATED! GO CARDINALS! Until of course their inevitable bed-shitting against NIU.

2:00 p.m. — Central Michigan (1-1) at Ohio (0-2) Someone might take pictures

Well, Ohio lost to OSU by 12, while CMU lost to Georgia by 39. Most people believe Georgia would beat Ohio State by 58. Translation: CMU-Ohio will end in a tie.

2:00 p.m. — Delaware State (1-0) at Kent State (0-2) If CMU and Ball State aren’t on, what are these guys’ chances?

You’d like to think this will be a I-AA upset, but note this: D-State coach Al Lavan coached at EMU. On an interim basis. So just chew on that for awhile.

3:00 p.m. — Charleston Southern (0-2) at Miami (0-2) Oxford, Ohio public access (tape delay)

Expect big things from the RedHawks offense, who will easily run past defenders doing a dance from the 1920s.

4:00 p.m. — Western Michigan (1-1) at Idaho (1-1) Your Napoleon Dynamite reference here

When the Vandals meet the Broncos … hug your Visigoth children in case you never see them again.

8:00 p.m. — Bowling Green (1-1) at Boise State (1-0) ESPN+

So, a couple things. For one, I don’t want to talk about last week. They cheated. (Hopefully.) Secondly, the BG defense, beyond the collective ability to usher the offense through the secondary, has some mighty fine playmakers. For example, Diyral Briggs leads the nation in sacks with five. Tied for second: every other man in the world, with one.

Idle hands: Northern Illinois

What I had to show for a Broncos-Raiders live blog: a collage of famous and influential Mikes. Deadspin

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Despite its low center of gravity, you can still tip the Futon Report.