Aug

4

The Tigers: Now Open 24 Hours

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riggans_hit.jpgBecause they never, ever close. (Puns! Love ‘em.)

When Todd Jones closed out games, Tigers fans would get ulcers, cramps, and chest pains. When Fernando Rodney closes out games, the other team experiences said chest pains. On Sunday, after Kyle Farnsworth, savior to the bullpen, gave up two home runs to extend the game, “closer” Fernando Rodney eventually came on in the 10th inning to save a 5-4 game.

Fernando Rodney injured two consecutive Rays batters. Jason Bartlett jammed his finger on an attempted bunt, then pinch hitter Shawn Riggans got hit in the chest with a baseball. In the chest. The chest. Hit in the chest. How does a pitcher hit someone square in the chest? Read more

Despite its low center of gravity, you can still tip the Futon Report.