The Futon Report

I’m all for nicknames. They’re cute, fun, and way more memorable than the tons of garden-variety names. Plus it prevents parents from having to name their children something outlandish like ZoQwell.

But this?

I’m going to be completely honest, I wasn’t expecting that at all. Bruce Gradkowski to the Rams? Well, good luck to “Medium-Large” B.” ◼ Blade

Then again, so can I. Doesn’t mean a team would want either one of us.

Stopping me from making a team is primarily my poor vertical jump, adequate throwing arm, and a tendency to try and stop the pass rush through UN sanctions. Stopping Chris Henry from making a team used to be his court-ordered house arrest, but that’s not an issue anymore. Now the only bugaboo left from him getting another chance at the pros is merely the fact that he’s Chris Henry. Read more