The Futon Report

Thank heavens legitimate journalists have subscriptions to Rivals.com — else we wouldn’t know who Virginia’s next football offensive coordinator might be:

Yeah, that guy doesn’t look familiar at all. Daily Press, can you tell us?

Former Bowling Green coach Gregg Brandon has been offered the vacant Virginia offensive coordinator position, according to a report on CavsCorner.com.

Ah. Well, he does know offense, and his teams have put up a ton of points, with the exception of, y’know, this past year. And Gary Blackney, when he stepped down from BG in 2000, became a DC for Maryland and it worked out well. (Fun fact: Blackney is currently the secondary coach at Central Florida right now. Odd.) It would make more sense for Brandon to get the ol’ band back together at Florida with Urban Meyer whose OC is now coaching Mississippi State.

It seems like a perfect fit, and I wish him the best of luck. A catastrophic problem could arise, however, if Meyer steps down or is kicked out abruptly and Brandon is named the interim coach, well, you saw what happened before.

So, to recap:

• Tom Amstutz: gone
• Gregg Brandon: gone
• EMU’s Jeff Genyk was fired. (But not before acting like a dick in their win over CMU.)
• Miami University’s Shane Montgomery resigned.

It might just be easier to list the coaches that won’t be fired. They are the ones you’ll see in bowl games.

The essence of comedy is … … … [waits 5 minutes] … … timing. So it’s quite hilarious that after the Tom Amstutz Farewell Tour ended with a local holiday in the Glass City and a 38-10 loss, Mayor John Quinn didn’t get a chance to declare Gregg Brandonukkah on the narrow streets of Bowling Green, Ohio, USA, Earth, and the BGSU coach will no longer be the coach after a really hurty 6-6 season.

If you thought the Amstutz stepping-down was weird timing, this one takes the cake. What also obtains some kind of caloric dessert is the fact that it’s not a firing, and it’s not a resignation. I really hate it when coaching changes aren’t cut and dry. Nobody decides mutually on these things, which you’d know if you talked to any of my ex-girlfriends. So it may be difficult to pin a one-word description on the situation — and you HAVE to believe a column will be forthcoming on this — but for now let’s just return to what works when Bowling Green coaches are relieved of their duties:

Postmortem: It just dawned on me, after re-opening that Photoshop, that yesterday was Corey Partridge’s final game. It seems like he’s been there forever, but you’ll have that when you’re a four-year starter at wide receiver. We’ll miss you, Mr. Partridge, as you’ll always have a special place in my heart as the first Facebook blog stalking I ever undertook. Keep reaching for those dead raccoons in the real world, blessed Sir.

Maybe here’s how I’ll run my blog from now on:

• 10 I write a post about something
• 20 You write a comment leading me somewhere awesome
• 30 I write another post about that comment
• 40 GOTO 20

This iteration of the post takes us to fan response of Gregg Brandon’s comments. Click through to also see Coach Brandon’s startling comments in return. Read more

As discovered by commenter Ben in the last post, Gregg Brandon put the BG-Buffalo game in perspective by noting how “pitiful” the crowd was.

Well, I’ll just say this. Our kids played heir guts out. And I don’t want to take anything away from the game but that crowd was pitiful. And I’m so disappointed in, you know the fans that showed up, that’s awesome. ‘Cause they’re the true fans. But our kids deserved so much better than that. To be in a championship with so much on the line, and that kind of crowd, disgusts me.

Now, I wasn’t at the game — hell, I wasn’t even aware it was being played Friday night — but then again you guys played a game at 6 o’clock on a Friday night. Of course 13,000 people are going to show up and not be entirely loud when it’s 26 degrees out. The fans may not have been in it. In fact maybe they were deathly silent in double overtime for all I know. On that same note, I don’t remember a time in college football history in which a crowd led a team to victory. The fans spirit soars with the success of its team, and this team is 5-6 and lost to Eastern Michigan at home, and is now the reason Buffalo will probably be playing in their first bowl game.

But I really, truly, am sorry for my part in this 40-34 double-overtime loss.