The Futon Report

Why, hi, everyone. The live blogginess and speed readability, coupled with a couple of hours of actual, honest, Real Job endeavors, it’s finally time to check back in with this here site. What’s in the news? Well, it’s … other sites.

If’n you didn’t notice, the Toledo Free Press up and chucked their old site and overhauled it. A couple thoughts:

• Wordpress? Ha. You can tell it’s a new-age newspaper when they use the same software that powers my blog.
• Look at what you can do on the front page! You can, like, scroll over “sports,” and there’s my name. Pow. Right there with the other experts. I have to say, I’ve never been a rollover item before.
• So, on my new author index, I, um, didn’t write most of that.
• God, I need a new headshot.

Most delightfully, though, is the addition of comments to articles, as evidenced by this weekend’s apology to Eastern Michigan and Ypsilanti, which sure enough irritated some EMU fans. (Ever see EMU smack talk before? It’s FREAKY.) This probes what I’ve thought all along about my TFP columns: there have been countless spiteful and vindictive thoughts from dissatisfied readers that went completely unheard, and I for one now feel deprived of them. Fortunately the right has been wronged, somewhat, and we can all move on in our lives having been enriched with nuggets such as:

I heard that EMU may have burned a jersey in the locker room after the game and at first I thought that was insulting to Bowling Green but after hearing about how negative and unprofessional the press has been towards Eastern Michigan University I wish they had burned the jersey right on the 50 yard line.

Also, look! Stock quotes!

Eastern Michigan 24
Bowling Green 21

The worst part? I can’t make any goddamn EMU jokes for at least, like, a year.