The Futon Report

And they’re both documented in the headline:

Tigers sign Freddy Garcia; Willis headed to Triple-A

One I can handle. The other … sure. But both? In the same headline, no less?

1. So the Tigers have added potential depth to their rotation by adding Fredward Garcia. It can’t hurt. At this rate, they’ll have reunited the 2001 Seattle Mariners baseball team by the 2017.

2. So the Mud Hens have decided to put all their fans sitting behind the backstop in grave danger.

Then again, why really fret about this? They’re eight games back with seven weeks to go, so the chances of leapfrogging Minnesota or Chicago seem bleak, let alone both. Plus, the Diamondbacks just got Adam Dunn. It might be time to go into full NL Fallback Mode. I’m caressing the shiny red button as we speak.

And there it is. Dontrelle Willis is now functionally disabled, according to the list he was just put on. This means that Brandon Inge will likely move to the rotation, or failing that, Armando Galarraga.

We’re still not sure what happened to Willis in Friday’s game (or how the shit Aquilino Lopez and Jason Grilli combined for seven innings of one-run relief), but I suspect his carefully-aligned crooked cap took a straightening for the worse, throwing out his entire balance. Either way, his hyperextended knee will put him out for a while.◼ DTW → DFP

Faux Tow: Charles Cherney/Chicago Tribune/MCT