The Futon Report

A big trade involving the Detroit Pistons is imminent. Joe Dumars said so, and he’s never lied to me before. So who’s gonna show up? Carmelo Anthony? Tracy McGrady? Josh [gulp] Howard? The suspense is tantalizing! I feel like a Tigers fan when the team still had Cameron Maybin!

The Free Press (Detroit variety)’s columnist Drew Sharp thinks Zach Randolph would make a fine addition to the Detroit Pistons.

You mean this Zach Randolph?

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“What if we try..”
“…Rip run the curl?”
“Yeah!”
“Tried it.”
“Hmm. What about … ‘Sheed, you post up?”
“Tried it.”
“I see.”
“What if Chauncey just shoots a…”
“That didn’t work either.”
“Well, dammit, that’s our entire playbook.” ◼ AP