Jul

28

A Sad Day For Mustaches Everywhere

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greggolson.jpgPardon me, O Baseball Gods, as I channel the spirit of our beloved Gregg Olson. That’s right, Gregg M.F. Olson.

That’s the first person I thought of, for some cosmic reason, when I heard midway through Sunday’s game that the Tigers closer was no longer Todd Jones. In a very quiet move, Fernando Rodney would assume the position “for the time being.” When the only sure things were death, taxes, and Todd Jones closing games, the torch has finally been passed, but not before the flames destroyed the fans’ wicker-strong confidence in him.

And then I thought, God dammit, this has been Gregg Olson all over again. Read more

Jul

17

Diamondbacks Batting Woes Solved

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tonyclark.jpgTheir big trade acquisition? Tony Clark. He’s slugging just over .300. All right!

Okay, he had a pretty freakin’ awesome 2005 year with a 1.002 OPS and crushing 30 home runs, but then the Diamondbacks found a Conor Jackson tucked away in the glove compartment, and he’s a rather good first baseman, I’d say.

I know, I know. This wasn’t the Diamondbacks’ idea of fixing everything. (Getting Justin Upton a fake ID so he thinks he’s not actually 20 years old is one idea.) But, sheesh. Trading for Tony Clark? Couldn’t they have just cloned Augie Ojeda or lured Travis Lee out of retirement?

Despite its low center of gravity, you can still tip the Futon Report.