Media archive | The Futon Report

I, Elsewhere

SbB stuff ◼ Ask A Sports Blog ◼ MLS sexual harassment drafts ◼ CNN’s Olympic headline t-shirt ◼ Cancer-fighting kid fined $1 by D-Rays

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With only one show this week, we had to make it count. ◼ THF

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Where will LeBron play in 2010? Let’s speculate! ◼ Deadspin

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Proof that I care about the Indians, too! They should bat Grady Sizemore third, and here’s why. ◼ TFP

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That Will Leitch, I done burnt him good. ◼ Deadspin

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If you didn’t love Todd Jones or Magglio Ordoñez before this, well, you will now. ◼ TB~

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Well, we got out of that “Arcadian Jones” segment alive. (But not well.) ◼ THF

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I don’t know why I did this:

◼ The Big Tilde

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We should just rename it the Bill Wennington Show. ◼ THF

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Marcus Thames is good and needs a nickname. ◼ TB~

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Apr

3

Craftiness, Leftiness Are Synonymous

≡ Category: Baseball, Media | ≅ 3 Comments

Ya know, Associated Press throwaway ledes are too much fun sometimes:

DETROIT (AP) — If Brian Bannister were a lefty, people would call him crafty. Instead, he’ll have to settle for effective.

If Brian Bannister were old, people would call him a veteran. Instead, he’ll have to settle for 27 years old.

If Brian Bannister were an outfielder, people would call him a heads-up player. Instead, he’ll have to settle for a good pitcher.

If Brian Bannister were a rich man, ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum. Instead, he’ll have to settle for working hard.

(By the way, I’m not sure how that Royals-Tigers series finished. Probably best to assume the Tigers won all three games. Yeah, that’s it.)

Apr

1

The 4 Best Sportly Blog April Foolers

≡ Category: Media | ≅ 2 Comments

4. Kissing Suzy Kolber: Sean Taylor Didn’t Die

3. Pro Football Talk: Just Making Up A Story

2. The Basketball Jones: Jones Basketball The

1. Toledo Blade: Toledo Hires Bob Knight As Head Coach

Mar

3

I Anonymously Make People Merry

≡ Category: Media | ≅ 1 Comment

I’ve been called many things. This is a new one, though, regarding the Dan Patrick move to Sports Illustrated and the Rick Reilly hop over to ESPN:

Minutes after the Patrick-for-Reilly switch was announced, one of the merrymakers over at the Web site Deadspin quipped that ESPN had filled its “smart-alecky, middle-aged white guy quota.”

I wonder who that fellow was? He sure sounds like a guy who would make people merry. Moreover, I want to know which guy in that illustration is the merrymaker. Is it the yellow shirt-black pants combo? That seems like merry outfit to me.

(Truth be told, the article is a pretty decent read.) ◼ New York Times