The Futon Report

You might’ve heard the story last week about Papa John’s apologizing to LeBron James and the Cavaliers fans for sponsoring “CRYBABY 23″ t-shirts during their series against the Wizards. As part of their self-flagellation, they agreed to give Northeast Ohio discount pizzas at 23 cents each. As strange as it sounds, looks like they’re gonna run out of pizza.

Earlier this afternoon, the chain warned that stores could run out of ingredients by dinnertime.

Officials later huddled and determined that “we are hours away from running out of product” and stores expect to stay open through dinnertime.

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Call this the biggest slap in the face in the world, but most people still aren’t giving the Atlanta Hawks much of a chance to win Sunday’s Game 7 that they forced last night against the Boston Celtics.

This is a No. 8 seed that finished 37-44, pushing the 65-16 Celtics to the edge of the first round, even though Boston swept Atlanta in the regular season series. So can you blame traditional logic? Either way, the Cleveland Cavaliers have to freakin’ love this series. Read more

In points, rebounds, and fouls.

Also, I’m not sure if that final score is an error. 108-72? Could be Congress voting to override Bush’s latest veto. (Topical humor!)

HT: Maureen

“What if we try..”
“…Rip run the curl?”
“Yeah!”
“Tried it.”
“Hmm. What about … ‘Sheed, you post up?”
“Tried it.”
“I see.”
“What if Chauncey just shoots a…”
“That didn’t work either.”
“Well, dammit, that’s our entire playbook.” ◼ AP

I mean, sure, we’d all like to find some way to stop James from breaking out in the second half, finishing with 32 points. But is a tranquilizer dart in the back really the most humane method of basketball sedation? Perhaps they could have tried … defense? Or … scoring points of their own? ◼ ESPN.com

Drag. Oh well, this guy seems more qualified anyway.

It looks like Toledo is going with Notre Dame assistant Gene Cross as their new head coach, replacing Stan Joplin. What this means is that rather than take a fired head coach, they’re admitting to UT basketball being a rebuilding project. Other than that, since I’ve never heard of Gene Cross, my opinions are non-existent. Hence the extremely painful pun-o-shop.

Also, the last Notre Dame assistant coach to take a head coaching job in Northwest Ohio? Urban Meyer. Just sayin’. ◼ Toledo Blade/Xs and Mo’s

…well, maybe not how UT had it planned. But the carousel of candidates has been spinning non-stop. The coaches UT wants, they can’t have. The coaches UT can get, they don’t want.

Maureen Fulton’s been doing a ton of coverage on this story, and as it stands, it looks to be either former Providence coach Tim Welsh, former Saint Louis coach Brad Soderberg, or Notre Dame assistant Gene Cross. Read more

It was a brief, yet memorable 40 days of Indiana University basketball. Ever see an ivory tower simply implode on its own weight? That was Hoosier hoops under Dan Dakich. (Okay, most of the blame can sensibly be put on Kelvin Sampson, since without his textualnanigans, Dakich is never anointed as a Big Ten coach, but <stephen_a>THE FACT REMAINS!</stephen_a>)

The era barely scratched April, and certainly didn’t make a dent in the second round of March Madness. Tomorrow Indiana will name Tom Crean head coach. Crean? That’s my detergent! He leaves Marquette, where he coached both Dwyane Wade and Dwyane Wade’s teammates.

So now Dan Dakich is sans head coach position. And Toledo still heads a head coach. Pleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease. ◼ Indy Star

Oh my god, they actually did this.

NBC17, the Raleigh/Durham affiliate, was unable to attain highlights of NCAA basketball games from CBS, so to show the highlights from Duke’s near-loss to 15th-seeded Belmont, they… well… yeah, they did that. Seriously, local TV can rule sometimes. ◼ → Fark

Okay, not really. I’m 2nd in my group of 31 picks, 93rd percentile overall.

And the guy ahead of me, well, works for Yahoo! Sports, so you can reasonably assume he’s cheating. Read more