The Futon Report

A roundup of tonight’s college basketball action, in statistical pigeonholing format, if we may:

• Division I teams that played basketball tonight: 50
• Division I teams that scored at least 35 points in at least one half: 32
• Division I teams that scored at least 35 points in both halves: 12
• Division I teams that scored only 35 points for the entire game: one

• D-I teams that scored less than 20 points in one half: 5
• D-I teams that scored less than 20 points in both halves: that same one

Image via WikipediaIf it hasn’t been made redundantly clear, scoring 35 points in a basketball game is only commendable if it’s well before the 40 minutes of regulation time has elapsed, and the level of competition is somewhere between high school JV and Magic Johnson’s Fastbreak. A Division I basketball team playing a winless team on the road? Yeah, not so much. Toledo went down 50-35 to Wright State, giving the WSU Raiders their de facto “best defensive performance ever” for holding an opponent to such a low number. Their previous defensive best was 37 against U. of Detroit last season in the Horizon League Tournament. UT, though, hasn’t scored this few points since, well, also last season (at Old Dominion).

Only one other team couldn’t make it to 40, and that was Ball State against ranked Purdue. Aside: I got a kick out of the AP lede: “Ball State hadn’t faced a suffocating defense like Purdue’s since the Truman administration.” Maybe it’s because I picture Gene Keady holding up a newspaper with the headline “BALL STATE DEFEATS PURDUE.”

Oh, and somehow UT out-rebounded WSU 37-36. This means that they also out-rebounded their own point total. Try sleeping soundly after that aberrant factoid. Justin Anyijong was as dominant as you can be on the boards when your team scores 35, as he grabbed eight rebounds, five of them offensive. Here was the problem though: 1-for-11 from the field. Harf.

Fifteen minutes of your life will be wasted well spent on this. From the Buffalo-Temple game to Ball State’s potential undefeated run to people picking Western Michigan basketball over LSU football.

And I think I got the sound levels a little better controlled. But not much.

Well, on purpose. Not the typical way UT players underperform.

This is pretty huge stuff. Sammy Villegas, who played for the Rockets from 2002-2006, has been charged with helping “fix” UT games in a point-shaving scheme. Specifically they mention missed free throws from a February 4, 2006 game against Central Michigan.

I’m gonna have more on this over at SbB Thursday, but damn. The craziest news breaks when I’m on airplanes.

November 19, 2004: In the final minutes of an NBA game at the Palace of Auburn Hills, there’s a huge fight between the Pistons and the pacers.

July 22, 2007: In the final minutes of a WNBA game at the Palace of Auburn Hills, there’s a huge fight between the Shock and the Sparks.

Yes, even the women of Detroit know how to throw down. But this one had a twist. Instead of players going into the stands and punching out paid attendees, one of Detroit’s coaches pushed down one of Los Angeles’s stars. The player was Lisa Leslie (I’ve heard of her!). The coach was … Rick Mahorn. Read more

Friend of the site and, more to the point, Akron Beacon-Journal columnist Brian Windhorst hasn’t been doing his usual cerebral coverage of the Cavaliers and this week’s NBA Draft because he’s been sick in the hospital. Once he gets out, he’ll no doubt return to his stellar work, and until then, please keep him in your thoughts.

A big trade involving the Detroit Pistons is imminent. Joe Dumars said so, and he’s never lied to me before. So who’s gonna show up? Carmelo Anthony? Tracy McGrady? Josh [gulp] Howard? The suspense is tantalizing! I feel like a Tigers fan when the team still had Cameron Maybin!

The Free Press (Detroit variety)’s columnist Drew Sharp thinks Zach Randolph would make a fine addition to the Detroit Pistons.

You mean this Zach Randolph?

Read more

Seriously, NBA Playoffs? Is this really how the second round is going to be? The home team is freakin’ 20-1 in these four series.

I keep watching, thinking I’m going to see that one surprise. And we might have seen it when a Billups-free Detroit Pistons won a game in freakin’ Orlando. Put your index finger in the air and wave it around in a horizontal circle.

San Antonio blew out New Orleans at home (ya don’t say!) in Game 6, so the series goes back to N’awlins. Utah and Cleveland retreat back home for their Game 6s on Friday, and there’s no doubt they’ll win them convincingly.

Sorry if I spoiled the ending for you. I tend to screw that up. Much like Jim screwed up by not proposing to Pam on The Office.

I heard Kevin Harlan say it the first time … in NBA Jam 2000. It’s one of the canned lines every damn time someone dunks. I was pretty sick of it, but I guess it has a nicer ring when a real human being dunks.

Honestly, I’m not at all sure how I missed this one as it happened. I vividly recall the foul. The not-letting-go after the whistle. The centrifugal force into the bleachers. The fans yelling back. And for some reason … LeBron James yelling at a fan.

But what eluded me was who the fan was — his mom, Gloria James. There she is, on the left. Remember her? Well, she apparently gets great seats at Cavaliers home games, and Paul Pierce (the Celtics man on the left) almost got Glorified on this night, featuring a Cavaliers 88-77 win.

Thankfully the graceful son shouted some sense into Momma. Read more

Let’s play a game of Scruples. You’re offered $24 million to be poked by hot needles for four years. That’s it. You just sit there, and hot needles prod you, day after day, until 2012. It sounds painful, but it also sounds like a lot of money. Would you do it?

I didn’t think so either. But former Suns coach Mike D’Antoni said “eh, sure” and will coach the Knicks, earning $24 million over four years for doing it. Youch. Godspeed. ◼ Newsday