The Futon Report

The last couple of days I’ve spent probably more than two (2) hours aggregate on this new beta fantasy baseball game called Baseball Boss, which I learned about from Tuffy, who learned about it from TechCrunch.

Follow the TechCrunch link for referrals if you want to give it a whirl, although I’ll warn you since you’re basically hearing about this fourth-hand, there may not be spots left. But on the plus side, if you tell someone about it, and they tell someone, that second someone will be Kevin Bacon. Which will make for a great conversation start at your next dinner party. Read more

This one’s a two-part rant. Both parts reference this mailbag, to ease complication.

The first part. Tim from Cleveland asks Indians beat writer Anthony Castrovince:

What happens to the players and staff at Triple-A Buffalo if the Indians switch to Columbus? Will the players stay at Buffalo or move to Columbus?

(Before I begin, I will mention that Castrovince does share that the Indians Triple-A team will be in Columbus next year, disregarding the “if” in the question. So … neat.)

Um. Tim? They’re Indians players. They’re part of the Indians farm system. Why would the players stay in Buffalo? Why would anyone stay in Buffalo, for that matter? Why would … you know what, I’m just going to chalk it up to you not knowing about how minor league systems work. I’ll grant you a pass.

Now for Numero Dos. Read more

On the pet peeve spectrum, 1 being sandals with socks and 10 being text messaging, energy drinks land somewhere between emails with colored text and usage of the word “team” in a corporate setting. Did we need another way to consume caffeine cold? They made 38 flavors of Diet Pepsi, half of which were submitted by me. That’s plenty.

Having said that, the following Fark photoshop contest (rejected energy drinks) yielded some pretty good ones, but this old timey submission by “SvartVinbars” was my favorite (click through for the readable version): Read more

This is Cubs pitcher Sean Gallagher. He probably has a few words with the team photographer. Unless, of course, he was trying to pull off the image of being real excitement after a huge gulp of Diet Coke and pop rocks.

He starts tomorrow against the Blue Jays. Not sure who’s going for Toronto, but I don’t think it’s Kevin Reese.

Dusty Baker mumbles under his breath, “I told him to swing at that!”

Congrats, Griffey. You’re the 6th person to do that.

From what I’ve read, these beauts are only donned on weekends and holidays in Jacob Progress Field. Creme-colored. No names on the back. A hint of Cubbiness in the hat.

Still, it’s kind of odd that a throwback Indians uniform contains far less blatant racism.

Remind me when the Tribe break these guys out, though. And the only fashion advice I have for the Tigers: just wear these.

Can’t hurt.(Photo credit: Chuck Crow/The Plain Dealer)

I knew he still was one of the Tigers, even though he’s technically one of the Rockies.

Our good buddy Jason Grilli lashed out in USA’s USA Today today on the dymanic of the new Detroit clubhouse. Responding back quickly was the Rt. Hon. James Q. “Jim” Leyland to the media:

You have to be kidding me. I mean, please. Jason Grilli ought to just worry about Colorado. Jason Grilli’s not here any longer because Jason Grilli didn’t pitch good under pressure situations and didn’t pitch very well in Detroit. You want to tell it like it is? When players want to start talking, I’ll start talking. But I’m very reserved about stuff like that. Jason Grilli ought to worry about Colorado, not Detroit.

(You really have to listen to the entire 4-minute bleepfest. Seriously, at points those [expletive redacted]s are ever so soothing rhythmic, perhaps Zulu-inspired.) Read more

The Dee Eff Pee published a “Best of Jason Grilli” photo gallery yesterday, which frankly was touching. I didn’t expect a metro newspaper to dedicate something like that after the exile of a long relief pitcher. Then again the man had local roots.

But if the champagne goggles is his Stairway To Heaven, here’s his Black Dog:

And that’s it. No more Grilli thoughts. From here on out it’s Francisco Cruceta. With soy. No foam. ◼ DFP

Sad, bittersweet news out of the baseball camps today. My favoritest ever Detroit Tiger (only because of this) was traded to the Colorado Rockies today.

So that’s it. He’s gone. The jokes. The laughs. Fin. I really don’t know where to go from here. Read more

I broke down this series over at The Big Tilde, but this bears repeating: The Rangers scored 10 runs; the Tigers hit 10 home runs. The bullpen pitched 13 innings and had more wins (2) than earned runs (1).

Yes, it’s the Texas Rangers, so it was glorified batting practice. But that’s a hell of a lot of runs. And that team is known for at least some decent offense, and the Cirque De Blown Games pretty much became a unified shutdown pitcher. Read more