The Futon Report

DJ Gallo might have something here with his NFL weekly wrap article. ◼ ESPN

Tatum Bell took off with Rudi Johnson’s luggage. Gain of two yards. ◼ Shutdown Corner

TSN showed their Top Ten NFL plays from 2007. Two of them were Cleveland Browns plays. Josh Cribbs’ disaster-to-master return TD, and the one where the New York Jets forgot how to tackle Jamal Lewis.

Now that David Eckstein is with the Diamondbacks, he’ll play second next to Adam Dunn at first. Eck actually called off Dunn on a pop fly, and Mark Grace on the FSN broadcast said it looked like a father-son game. ◼ AZ Republic

If the rest of the synchronized swimming team really wanted to win the gold, they’d have all attempted to drown in solidarity. ◼ SI

Announcer, during the Rangers-Tigers game: “Baseball is a game of inches. [pause] It’s also a game of Inges.” Gak. ◼ FSN Southwest

UT hoops signs Emeka Okafor’s cousin … Emeka Okafor. This was done to make family reunions easier to gather everyone at the drop of a hat. ◼ Blade

Barry Bonds isn’t retired. He’s just exploring his options. ◼ The Dugout

So I’m watching some Olympic water polo match online (yes, I know) and it’s halftime. The song they picked? Why, the instrumental version of “Cotton-Eye Joe.” Not sure what’s more shocking. That they’re playing the instrumental version of “Cotton-Eye Joe,” or that someone made an instrumental version of “Cotton-Eye Joe.” Is this how all water polo matches go? ◼ NBCOlympics.com

UT graduate Jerrah Young doubles Ireland’s black population by signing pro hoops contract with Cork’s UCC Demons. ◼ Xs and Mo’s