But I have fallen to the Twitter collective, and it’s an artificial high that I just can’t part with. So if’n you have the late night craving for short, undeveloped thoughts, please follow me. I might follow you too. I mean in real life. Driving a green El Camino. Yeah, that’ll be me.
There’s also a Treehouse Fort Twitter (Tweet-house Fort?) that Tuffy and I are taking gentle care of from time to time. That’s where most of the sportsy ruminations that aren’t UT or BGSU will be collected.
Okay. Back to being dormant. [pretends to be asleep]
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Usually when a site closes up shop, there’s all sorts of profound reflection on the great years, the great posts, and the feeling that, hey, I’m gonna miss this thing. And some of that’s very true here at the Futon Report, but honestly this blog was very poorly maintained, and you can probably blame the publishers of all the wonderful sites that offered me writing opportunities for that. Specifically, Leitch/Daulerio, Brooks, EO, and MM were all so gracious to take a chance and let me run free on their publications, there was really nobody except for a handful of friends and readers who said, “hey, how come you haven’t posted yet?”
Also, two server crashes and 18 months of lost blog posts can really discourage one from trying to continue on. But that doesn’t mean it was all bad. I’ve met and made friends as a result of developing this blog. One reader even offered me a ticket to probably the best ballgame I’ve ever attended in exchange for a pair of limited edition Futon Report t-shirts for him and his wife.
But it’s been three years, and I’ve made the decision to stop posting here on a regular* basis. But I’m not quitting. On the contrary, I’m moving my regular 1-3 posts a week to the Toledo Free Press website, which almost makes perfect sense since the column I’ve done for them since 2006 has the same name as this website.
Henceforth, all my postings shall be found here, with the RSS feed being, well, that link I just shared. This website shall stand more as a portfolio of my ongoing typing throughout the Internet, so it won’t be horrible if you keep it bookmarked, although it’s certainly not a bad idea if you discard this.
There’s also another project in the works; I’ll probably announce it here when it’s live then proclaim “no mas” for futonreport.net. Shall anything else arise — say, if I decide to revive the Daily Sussman eight years removed or if I become the new wicker furniture columnist for Better Homes And Gardens — you’ll probably hear about it on this webpagesite.
Hopefully you weren’t expecting some grandiose finale to futonreport.net; going out like this is probably more fanfare than what is deserved. Actually, if the server were to collapse upon itself like a supernova in April, that would be wholly appropriate.
See you all on the TFP, and anywhere else my cybernetic thoughts may roam.
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When the local news teases a story about Bruce Gradkowski, internally one’s mind says “please oh please report that he’s starting a football game.”
Then the commercial ended, and the story came. Yesssssss.
Now that the Browns have put their third QB on IR, Gradkowski gets the start and the backup quarterback will be … [spins roulette wheel] Richard Bartel! Hey, that … kinda sounds like a quarterback name! Bartel, of course, is the pride of … [throws dart at map] Tarleton State, the Division II powerhouse!
]]>• Now then, via mgoblog is some Eastern Michigan football coaching talk. Hot! They still need one, it looks like. Also, they are seemingly going to try and play another year of football and not disband it and transfer the funds to their powerhouse curling program. A lot of names sure are floating around (for an EMU rumor, no less) but the interesting one is Chuck Martin, the Grand Valley State coach. If you remember last year, I suggested Michigan should take a look at him and his dynasty he built at GVSU. The guy before Martin is playing in something called an “Orange Bowl,” which sounds colorful and delicious. If EMU can land the next Brian Kelly, maybe the jokes will diminish. Maybe. But for now … the shirt, please.
• I thought if Ohio State was ranked at any point in the year, they’re immediately ranked No. 1. Isn’t this the agreement they had with the Associated Press voters (known colloquially as the Filler Copy Matrix)? Instead, they’re only 16th and a win over Jacksonville puts them at an unblemished 7-0. I guess that respect doesn’t carry over to the indoor variety of NCAA revenue sports. This gives, of the seven games, 1½ road games, and four more home games to finish out the year. Yep, they’ll have gotten to January with just one-point-five road games. If they win all those, and convinces ESPN that Jon Diebler looks like Tyler Hansbrough, they’ll be No. 2 before you know it.
Also, blog-rattling news coming up in a couple weeks.
Yeah, that guy doesn’t look familiar at all. Daily Press, can you tell us?
Former Bowling Green coach Gregg Brandon has been offered the vacant Virginia offensive coordinator position, according to a report on CavsCorner.com.
Ah. Well, he does know offense, and his teams have put up a ton of points, with the exception of, y’know, this past year. And Gary Blackney, when he stepped down from BG in 2000, became a DC for Maryland and it worked out well. (Fun fact: Blackney is currently the secondary coach at Central Florida right now. Odd.) It would make more sense for Brandon to get the ol’ band back together at Florida with Urban Meyer whose OC is now coaching Mississippi State.
It seems like a perfect fit, and I wish him the best of luck. A catastrophic problem could arise, however, if Meyer steps down or is kicked out abruptly and Brandon is named the interim coach, well, you saw what happened before.
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The good news is I don’t have to stop worrying about what obscure offensive/defensive coordinator will coach Bowling Green anymore. The bad news is they’re hiring a guy whose last OC gig resulted in the 9th worst scoring offense in the FBS. Hi, Dave Clawson. Welcome to the area. Literally.
[BG athletic director Greg] Christopher said on the day Brandon was fired that he would seek candidates with ties to Ohio or the Midwest. Clawson does not appear to have either.
That’s what went off in my head as I was reading through his previous destinations. Before Tennessee, he was at: Albany, Buffalo, Lehigh, Villanova, Fordham, and Richmond.
When the guy was hired last year down in Knoxville, his offensive scheme was deemed sort of complicated, as illustrated by this picture Rocky Top Talk found:
So that’ll be fun.
• Division I teams that played basketball tonight: 50
• Division I teams that scored at least 35 points in at least one half: 32
• Division I teams that scored at least 35 points in both halves: 12
• Division I teams that scored only 35 points for the entire game: one
• D-I teams that scored less than 20 points in one half: 5
• D-I teams that scored less than 20 points in both halves: that same one
Image via WikipediaIf it hasn’t been made redundantly clear, scoring 35 points in a basketball game is only commendable if it’s well before the 40 minutes of regulation time has elapsed, and the level of competition is somewhere between high school JV and Magic Johnson’s Fastbreak. A Division I basketball team playing a winless team on the road? Yeah, not so much. Toledo went down 50-35 to Wright State, giving the WSU Raiders their de facto “best defensive performance ever” for holding an opponent to such a low number. Their previous defensive best was 37 against U. of Detroit last season in the Horizon League Tournament. UT, though, hasn’t scored this few points since, well, also last season (at Old Dominion).
Only one other team couldn’t make it to 40, and that was Ball State against ranked Purdue. Aside: I got a kick out of the AP lede: “Ball State hadn’t faced a suffocating defense like Purdue’s since the Truman administration.” Maybe it’s because I picture Gene Keady holding up a newspaper with the headline “BALL STATE DEFEATS PURDUE.”
Oh, and somehow UT out-rebounded WSU 37-36. This means that they also out-rebounded their own point total. Try sleeping soundly after that aberrant factoid. Justin Anyijong was as dominant as you can be on the boards when your team scores 35, as he grabbed eight rebounds, five of them offensive. Here was the problem though: 1-for-11 from the field. Harf.
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I always love the iterative “this team lost to this team who lost to this team” chain of dominance that’s constructed every year. This year, though, all logical roads point to James Madison as being the best team in the land, and therefore the BCS champion.
For those not in the know, Championship subdivision powerhouse JMU is ranked 21st in Jeff Sagarin’s computer poll, and their 48-24 win over William & Mary secured them as the godfather of football. William & Mary went on to beat New Hampshire, who beat Army, who beat Eastern Michigan, who pretty much created this entire mess with their wins over CMU and BG. (Notre Dame wasn’t entirely helpful either. As usual.)
What about the Big XII three? Original theorist Ryne Crabb explains:
Oklahoma lost to Texas, who lost to Texas Tech, who lost to Oklahoma. Since neither of those three teams can figure out which one is the best, to hell with them all.
Well, then. That takes care of all loose ends. Kind of like in Ultima IV: Quest of the Avatar needed a spot for the humility virtue, so they just put it off to the side.
(Fun fact: the JMU Dukes’ only loss? Duke. I guess I should throw the Blue Devils logo at the top. But I won’t, because this guy didn’t.)
James Madison is in the FCS Final Four, squaring off against Montana on Friday night to play for the Division I Championship in — where else? — Chattanooga, Tennessee. He notes that if JMU loses to Montana, the BCS champion can be traced all the way down to 1-11 Idaho State. I’m sure it’s possible to go down the line to Division II and beyond, but please don’t make me chart that.
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