The Futon Report

Not that it’s any of your business, but I’ve been watching a lot of Olympic judo online. The Azerbaijani didn’t see that yuko coming! ◼ BC

So I’m watching some Olympic water polo match online (yes, I know) and it’s halftime. The song they picked? Why, the instrumental version of “Cotton-Eye Joe.” Not sure what’s more shocking. That they’re playing the instrumental version of “Cotton-Eye Joe,” or that someone made an instrumental version of “Cotton-Eye Joe.” Is this how all water polo matches go? ◼ NBCOlympics.com

Well, once the masses were actually able to see the SportsCenter live blog (which will be sometime next October), it turned out pretty well. ◼ Deadspin

Finally, some levity in this Brett Favre ongoing story.

Last night we all found out about the Favre-to-Jets trade, seeing the “JET FAVRE” headline from a mile away. Last I heard, the Jets gave up just a 4th round pick. But today I found out what the specifics were, and one’s just hilarious. Read more

Thursdays are Suss days at the Ess-Bee-Bee ◼ More on Villegas ◼ Shaq has a success Webinar? ◼ Bluetooth headset enables Yanks-on-Sox violence

Mr. “Maff,” whoever you are, you are clearly an old school sportswriter. You cut your teeth between the gutters. You wrote to fit. And you established yourself. Hats off! But you’re writing, what appears to be, a blog entry. You’re not bound by a handful of picas. You can kick back and streeetch that bad boy out.

If you play the metro columnist reading game that’s sweeping the nation, “Count The Onesies,” you’ll see that this “Maff” fellow weighs in with eight consecutive one-sentence paragraphs to start his blog post. That’s the kind of carriage returnmanship that gets you on the Woody Paige and Ron Musselman plateau. Read more

Non-sports! Why does every waiter get tips? ◼ BC

I used to like baseball. ◼ TB~

Well, on purpose. Not the typical way UT players underperform.

This is pretty huge stuff. Sammy Villegas, who played for the Rockets from 2002-2006, has been charged with helping “fix” UT games in a point-shaving scheme. Specifically they mention missed free throws from a February 4, 2006 game against Central Michigan.

I’m gonna have more on this over at SbB Thursday, but damn. The craziest news breaks when I’m on airplanes.

UT graduate Jerrah Young doubles Ireland’s black population by signing pro hoops contract with Cork’s UCC Demons. ◼ Xs and Mo’s