The Futon Report

Just me talking for a half hour, saying things like “There will be an NBA Finals Game 7.” Grumble. ◼ THF (cold open)

Omar Minaya had to fire Willie Randolph. ◼ Walkoff Walk

Who should replace Mickelson as “Tiger’s No. 2″ (when he comes back from faking his injury, of course)? ◼ Crain’s Sportsbiz

Bartolo Colon’s back. That’s not a good thing. ◼ Red Sox Monster

A big trade involving the Detroit Pistons is imminent. Joe Dumars said so, and he’s never lied to me before. So who’s gonna show up? Carmelo Anthony? Tracy McGrady? Josh [gulp] Howard? The suspense is tantalizing! I feel like a Tigers fan when the team still had Cameron Maybin!

The Free Press (Detroit variety)’s columnist Drew Sharp thinks Zach Randolph would make a fine addition to the Detroit Pistons.

You mean this Zach Randolph?

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It took ferfreakin’ ever, but I finally have a page on Deadspin with archives of just my posts. ◼ Deadspin

Let’s trade Mike Hessman for something good. ◼ TFP

From racism! to the Atlanta Braves. ◼ THF

Brave sir Vancelot, your career’s probably over. ◼ MLB.com

This is Cubs pitcher Sean Gallagher. He probably has a few words with the team photographer. Unless, of course, he was trying to pull off the image of being real excitement after a huge gulp of Diet Coke and pop rocks.

He starts tomorrow against the Blue Jays. Not sure who’s going for Toronto, but I don’t think it’s Kevin Reese.