The Futon Report

This one’s a two-part rant. Both parts reference this mailbag, to ease complication.

The first part. Tim from Cleveland asks Indians beat writer Anthony Castrovince:

What happens to the players and staff at Triple-A Buffalo if the Indians switch to Columbus? Will the players stay at Buffalo or move to Columbus?

(Before I begin, I will mention that Castrovince does share that the Indians Triple-A team will be in Columbus next year, disregarding the “if” in the question. So … neat.)

Um. Tim? They’re Indians players. They’re part of the Indians farm system. Why would the players stay in Buffalo? Why would anyone stay in Buffalo, for that matter? Why would … you know what, I’m just going to chalk it up to you not knowing about how minor league systems work. I’ll grant you a pass.

Now for Numero Dos. Read more

Gene Wojciechowski 7, Roger Goodell 3. ◼ ESPN

He made such a convincing argument that he’s a great lover, that I now want to be his girlfriend. And I’m not even gay.

(I think it was the way he pronounced “assume.”)

Proof that I care about the Indians, too! They should bat Grady Sizemore third, and here’s why. ◼ TFP

That Will Leitch, I done burnt him good. ◼ Deadspin

If you didn’t love Todd Jones or Magglio Ordoñez before this, well, you will now. ◼ TB~

Joe Morgan is wrong about something. And it’s not even about VORP. ◼ Walkoff Walk

Hahahahaha. (God, I love looking up search engine referrals.) ◼ Google

Well, we got out of that “Arcadian Jones” segment alive. (But not well.) ◼ THF

You know, this is how World War I started. All the European Nations began bickering with each other, and before you know it … BLAM! Ferdinand was gone.

So it’s Will’s final week on Deadspin, and he wrote a missive about Jason McIntyre, Mike Florio, (feat. AJ Daulerio), and other sports blogs trying to get mainstream acceptance. Then McIntyre responded with a “no response,” then Matt Ufford fired back at McIntyre, then Dave Lozo fired back at Leitch. And they all have some great points, and also really missed some of their targets. But all I’m saying is if one of The Dugout guys gets shivved, this shit’s awn. Read more