The Futon Report

Deadspin for April 19. (Favorite post, bar none)

With all the hubbub at the ‘Spin, the ‘Brooks, the ‘Tilde, and ‘Ogcritics — coupled with my last long-ass trip, I sure have neglected the ol’ Futon for the last week, now haven’t I?

Okay, next week I’ll be sure to take better care — meaning, any kind of care at all — around these parts. With the MAC basketball season over, it’s tough to find stuff to write about, although I could just open the standards up to any goofy-ass story that comes my way, now couldn’t I?

Or if, you know, Detroit starts winning again.

We’re gonna talk to Christmas Ape on his Washington Post firing. ◼ THF | BC

Greg Maddux and 17%. Amazing anecdote. ◼ BB Musings → ESPN

Something non-sports! How a college has censored the satire of a feminist newsletter. ◼ BC

And there it is. Dontrelle Willis is now functionally disabled, according to the list he was just put on. This means that Brandon Inge will likely move to the rotation, or failing that, Armando Galarraga.

We’re still not sure what happened to Willis in Friday’s game (or how the shit Aquilino Lopez and Jason Grilli combined for seven innings of one-run relief), but I suspect his carefully-aligned crooked cap took a straightening for the worse, throwing out his entire balance. Either way, his hyperextended knee will put him out for a while.◼ DTW → DFP

Faux Tow: Charles Cherney/Chicago Tribune/MCT

Clay Rapada song parody. ◼ TB~

I do too still host a radio show. ◼ THF

How can you not cheer for Bobby Reid after reading this? ◼ ESPN

Why nobody will sign Barry Bonds this year. ◼ BC