The Futon Report

Step right up, Kory Lichtensteiger, and welcome to the Denver Broncos. You’re entering a league that also drafted former BGSU center Scott Mruczkowski in 2005, who’s still with the Chargers. Now, let’s see if ViewImages has any good photos of Mr. Lichtensteiger…

Hmm. No results found. Oh well. You’ll have your picture taken many a time once you make a name for yourself at Mile High!

Non-sports! Students suspended for banana prank. ◼ BC

Thursday on SbB ◼ Drugged ice skater follow-up ◼ Braves fans are punchy ◼ Barry Zito’s net worth in garlic fries ◼ “Tom Brady” murders his gay lover on Law & Order

In points, rebounds, and fouls.

Also, I’m not sure if that final score is an error. 108-72? Could be Congress voting to override Bush’s latest veto. (Topical humor!)

HT: Maureen

I broke down this series over at The Big Tilde, but this bears repeating: The Rangers scored 10 runs; the Tigers hit 10 home runs. The bullpen pitched 13 innings and had more wins (2) than earned runs (1).

Yes, it’s the Texas Rangers, so it was glorified batting practice. But that’s a hell of a lot of runs. And that team is known for at least some decent offense, and the Cirque De Blown Games pretty much became a unified shutdown pitcher. Read more

Tuesday on SbB ◼ Romario > Pele? ◼ Mets-Phillies fights > Yanks-Sox fights? ◼ Aussie cricket > Pakistani cricket? ◼ Not getting drugged > Getting drugged.

There are no gay soccer players. Pass it on. ◼ FanIQ

It’s easy to notice significant roster changes in the the Tigers lineup amidst a 10-2 walloping of the Texas Rangers. Verlander’s pitching again! Renteria’s on fire! And … Carlos Guillen and Miguel Cabrera are permanently switching positions!

Leyland had little to say about the switch. He didn’t give a timetable for a minimum of how long it might last. But he spoke about it with an air of permanence.

Sort of an … odd fix to the whole situation. Cabrera’s playing bad defense at third, so move him to first, and put Guillen at third, who was moved to first because … he was bad at defense at shortstop. This will work wonders! Let’s see … Nate Robertson is having trouble pitching. Let’s put him in the outfield, where he’ll pitch less, and replace him with … Brandon Inge. ◼ DFP

New gritty colloquialism: “He bleeds internally.” ◼ FJM

Man’s MLB career mirrors Steve Miller song. ◼ Onion