The Futon Report

Of all the Bowling Green-alum sports media socialites out there, I’m probably the only one who never did any actual reporting while in college. (Credibility is for chumps, if you ask me.) Therefore I’m unable to provide any anecdotal awesomeness of Dan Dakich during his days at Bowling Green.

But that’s where Joel Hammond comes in. His blog has become a sudden Ground Zero for Dakich memoirs. Nick Hurm brings perhaps the best gems, including:

Dakich took Pete Stella and I out to Fricker’s after the 2001 season. I never forget his impression of Kevin Netter. He took a salt shaker for his body and a pair of forks for his legs and was running it around the table.

You basically have to read the rest of them. ◼ Hammond Bacon

Imagine if the NBA had the NFL’s contract rules, then the Cavs might not regret trading for Ben Wallace. ◼ Crain’s Sportsbiz

  
Okay, I’m hereby convinced someone out there is going back in time and planting these videos in the 80s. That’s the only explanation for these countless music “videos” showing up in this decade, the Aughts.

Sussman: how do these keep resurfacing
Tuffy: satin floats

That’s another theory. What do you think, Rick? “[gives 'OK sign'] It STINKS!” ◼ Fark → YouTube

Note: The damn thing doesn’t embed. What’s the point of a YouTube, I ask you?

Update: The video, she now embeds.

Monday, February 25: It’s gonna feel good pretending to do a radio show again. ◼ Treehouse Fort

If you can’t handle Jerry Green’s olde time defense of Matt Millen, then tough tomatoes. ◼ Deadspin → The Wayne Fontes Experience → Detroit News

MJD’s got a better NFL combine test than the Wonderlic. ◼ Shutdown Corner

What Ryan Theriot lacks in ability, he makes up for in clichés. ◼ Fire Joe Morgan

The selection of Wally as the mascot name of Toledo Walleye could be trumped in shocking selections only by Raul Castro as successor to the president of Cuba. But nevertheless, The Blade and The Andersons are holding a contest to name the mascot.

My vote: Chuck Fin-ley. Now, someone submit that for me. I’m out of stamps. ◼ Toledo Blade

Kelvin Sampson’s still text messaging his players. ◼ Sun-Times (WARNING: Mariotti-like typing detected)

It took me a whole weekend to figure out who Dan Dakich was. Forrest Gump. ◼ Blogcritics