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We’re Gonna Take This Sitting Down
I, Elsewhere
Proof that I care about the Indians, too! They should bat Grady Sizemore third, and here’s why. ◼ TFP
Comments (0)If you didn’t love Todd Jones or Magglio Ordoñez before this, well, you will now. ◼ TB~
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American Moms, Meet David Tyree
By Matt Sussman | Feb 8, 2008 | Filed Under Football
It’s not like mothers completely ignore sports. They watch them sometimes, and if nothing else, they’re aware of their general existence. They might know a player here or there, because he was in that one commercial, or because moms, contrary to popular belief, actually don’t live under rocks.
Most moms can’t name a lot of New York Giants, except maybe Tiki Barber (reason: Today show) and now they can perhaps identify Eli Manning (reason: he’s such a nice boy, not like that Tom Brady who left his girlfriend to bear a child, bless her heart) and after Friday they’ll know Giants receiver David Tyree.
Tyree, in sports lore, is the guy who caught a touchdown on Sunday as well as the goofiest catch in Super Bowl history, but after Friday he’ll be that nice boy who was on The Ellen DeGeneres Show.
That has to be a kick in the head. As Awful Announcing pointed out, Eli Manning earned the Letterman slot and Michael Strahan made his way to Conan. Tyree — who was probably the third MVP on that night — gets a daytime talk show. It’s only a matter of time before the Patriots offensive line can be seen on a public access channel talk show hosted by these guys.
Justin Tuck had two sacks and a forced fumble in the game (and was my MVP behind Manning), but the only Giants defenders who are allowed to be seen in public are those who have embarrassing divorces and/or poop on women. So Tuck will be kept in a soundproof cage during the offseason. ◼ Awful Announcing
Tags: david tyree, new york giants
Stuff I didn't write, but that doesn't necessarily make it any worse
Red Wings sign Marian Hossa, which I’m pretty sure are two girl names. ◼ MLive | Snapshots
Comments (0)Dan Shaughnessy found a way around saying that white people are bad at basketball. ◼ Big Lead
Comments (0)Who should replace Mickelson as “Tiger’s No. 2″ (when he comes back from faking his injury, of course)? ◼ Crain’s Sportsbiz
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i went to school with justin tuck. he was known as debo among my friends. one of my buddies had his bike stolen and shortly after tuck was seen riding around on a similar bike that was much too small for him. he was so large it barely supported him and made noises every time he pedaled. i was happy to see him play so well in the super bowl.
“I like Justin Tuck. Just seems like kind’ve a strange reason to buy a bike, because he might have pedaled it.”
“What do you mean ‘might?’ You don’t think he really owned this bike?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, why would the guy make up something like that? Of all the names he could pick, why settle on Justin Tuck?”
“Don’t you see, that’s the genius of it. If he had said Michael Strahan, you’d know he’s making it up.”