The Futon Report

Whee! It’s college football time, which means the Mid-American Conference is ready to lose all their nonconference matchups in the first week!

Take last night, for example:

Central Michigan 31, Eastern Illinois 12
Well, okay, that’s the conference champion and it’s against a FCS team, so you’re bound to have a win. Certainly some of the worse teams will…

Ball State 48, Northeastern 14
…well, sure, but Ball State was in a bowl. Certainly one of the pissbuckets of the MAC didn’t fare as…

Eastern Michigan 52, Indiana State 0
…The hell? Okay, still. These are just FCS teams. Against other FBS schools, certainly they were blown out at…

Buffalo 42, UTEP 17
!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!!

Vanderbilt 34, Miami U. 13
Ah, there it is. God, I was scared for a second.

Football is football, and the conference is 4-1 to start the year. Call it the pinnacle of the year, because tomorrow’s games might not yield the delighted results. Fortunately you don’t get any of these channels:

Actually Started A Couple of Minutes Ago, I Just Learned

Temple at Army ◼ ESPN Classic
All I can say is: that is without question the right channel to feature this game.

Saturday, August 30

12 noon — Bowling Green at #25 Pittsburgh ◼ ESPNU
Kirk Herbstreit said a couple hours ago that this is a trap game for Pitt. Assuming that BGSU never plays defense and always has the ball, he will be correct.

12 noon — Akron at #13 Wisconsin ◼ BTN
I have no doubt the Zips can score a touchdown.

2:00 p.m. — Ohio at Wyoming ◼ The Mtn.
The last Ohioan to visit Wyoming, I think, was me back in March. And I’ll say this about Wyoming: Mountains.

7:00 p.m. — Western Michigan at Nebraska ◼ FSN
Mind you, WMU beat Iowa last year to end the season. And to the Eastern time zone, it’s essentially the same state.

7:00 p.m. — Northern Illinois at Minnesota ◼ BTN
Minnesota lost to a certain MAC school last year on a Saturday night game. This was their way of saying they don’t want that to happen again.

7:30 p.m. — Boston College at Kent State ◼ ESPNU
They’re playing the game in Browns Stadium. Which means BC might be the finest team to play on that field this year.

(Photo credit: Mark Mulville/Buffalo News)