The Futon Report

I don’t have the heart to tell them … do you? No? You want to see how this plays out, too? Sounds like a fantastic idea.

Yes, the Colorado Rockies are friggin’ buyers as the trade deadline approaches. They’re looking at Paul Byrd to add a crafty, veteran-minded, book-about-masturbation-writin’ arm for their rotation. They’ve also briefly asked about the Reds’ Bronson Arroyo and the A’s Justin Duchscherer, and no, this is not an attempt to squat on all the valuables before the trading deadline and demanding the 2007 World Series trophy in return.

Naw, they actually want to win the NL West. Here’s the thing. They might.

On June 30, they were dead last and 10 games out of first. Then a funny thing happened. (Well, funny in the Marmaduke sense. Oh, how did he get into the laundry again? He thinks he’s fabric softener!) They stayed in it. Now they’re just 6½ out of first. Of course, first place in the NL West is not really a first place at all. It’s more of a lottery in which all the inconsistent teams put their business card in a glass jar down at the deli and whoever’s name gets pulled wins a free sandwich and a first-round playoff exit.

If you need remindin’:

Arizona       53 51 GB
LA Dodgers    52 52 1
Colorado      48 59 6.5
San Francisco 43 61 10
San Diego     41 65 13

See, that there is … hey, how did Arizona sneak above .500? Must’ve been the optimism surrounding the Tony Clark trade. But if the Diamondbacks can’t pry away Mark Teixiera or Jason Bay, Adam Dunn, or (maybe?) Ken Griffey, then there is definitely the chance of catching more lightning in a bottle for the final two months.

Granted, the Dodgers are probably the prohibitive favorite to win the division, because they’re getting about half their team back from injury, but still, man. How has Andruw Jones not yet swung and missed a ball so badly that he actually hit Nomar Garciaparra in the on-deck circle?

But it might be hilarious to see the Rockies come from nowhere and snag a playoff spot like they did last year. If nothing else, it would prompt teams to take heed and build their next stadiums a mile into the sky.

There. Now I write about a _different_ team that’s for all intents and purposes out of the playoff hunt but we still like thinking they are because it makes us feel good.