The Futon Report

On the pet peeve spectrum, 1 being sandals with socks and 10 being text messaging, energy drinks land somewhere between emails with colored text and usage of the word “team” in a corporate setting. Did we need another way to consume caffeine cold? They made 38 flavors of Diet Pepsi, half of which were submitted by me. That’s plenty.

Having said that, the following Fark photoshop contest (rejected energy drinks) yielded some pretty good ones, but this old timey submission by “SvartVinbars” was my favorite (click through for the readable version):

If Ty Cobb was the pitchman for an energy drink, I’d probably buy it. Even if it was just Ty Cobb’s ghost, I’d definitely be sold by the fact that he could be punching Honus Wagner square in the cubes right now, but instead he took time out of his busy day to hock an energy drink. Or maybe I’m just a sucker for superfluously-hyphenated words, like “base-ball” and “re-vitalizing.” Maybe if we all prac-ticed that habit, we might not have so much po-verty or wa-r in the world.