The Futon Report

A big trade involving the Detroit Pistons is imminent. Joe Dumars said so, and he’s never lied to me before. So who’s gonna show up? Carmelo Anthony? Tracy McGrady? Josh [gulp] Howard? The suspense is tantalizing! I feel like a Tigers fan when the team still had Cameron Maybin!

The Free Press (Detroit variety)’s columnist Drew Sharp thinks Zach Randolph would make a fine addition to the Detroit Pistons.

You mean this Zach Randolph?

I’m not even that fervent a Detroit Pistons fan and I don’t want Zach Randolph playing there. Or Cleveland. Or anywhere within a 500-mile radius of my hometown. In fact, I think we’ve stumbled on one of the first valid reasons that the NBA should expand to a European division.

Sharp contends:

The Pistons would be a good spot for Randolph, who’s still battling issues with immaturity. He’s not a leader. He remains a follower.

How is this a beneficial trait in basketball?

“Hello, Detroit Pistons. You should sign my client to a 5-year, hundredy-threeteen million dollar deal. He’s very skilled. Not really much of a leader though. You’ll have to tell him what to do. And make sure the instructions are written with brightly-colored pastel markers. Otherwise he’ll get distracted. And have you seen him dribble drive? No? Perfect.”

Switching gears to sensibility, Chad Ford outlines six good deals the Pistons could make, and most of them sadly involve trading away Tayshaun Prince, who has the most trade value since he’s the youngest of the Pistons’s veteran core. The Boozer-Brewer for Hamliton-Prince one looks really volatile, but it just might work. Of course, we’ve seen how other Detroit teams have shaken the dynamic of their teams recently. As long as the Pistons don’t try to trade for any pitchers from Florida, they’ll be okay.