The Futon Report

Sad, bittersweet news out of the baseball camps today. My favoritest ever Detroit Tiger (only because of this) was traded to the Colorado Rockies today.

So that’s it. He’s gone. The jokes. The laughs. Fin. I really don’t know where to go from here.

I knew one of these years, Grilli was no longer going to be pitching for the Tigers. One doesn’t keep a mediocre reliever forever just because his dad pitched for the team. But so soon? I had figured we had another good, oh, year or two of love-hate pitching appearances. Two-inning no-hit outings, followed by close-game four-walk showings. Those were the days.

I suppose it’s like that one girlfriend from college that was so much fun, but in retrospect was probably so catastrophic for one’s own Qi. You get out of the relationship, but you feel empty … however, you realize that later on that void will one day be replaced by a woman who’s actually not going to get drunk and fuck a frat guy at a toga party.

And in this metaphor, that sensible woman is Francisco Cruceta. He has more potential to be something special in that bullpen, or if nothing else, to be a stopgap in long relief when Justin Verlander or Kenny Rogers gets drilled in a start. (Read: their next one[s].)

And moreover, you kind of wish that ex-girlfriend or ex-reliever crashes and burns, but you know that’s not the case. They’ll land on their feet somehow. (When they get off their backs. Hay-oh!) Jason Grilli might turn out to be a serviceable setup man in Colorado … or, heck, maybe even a starter. And when Tigers fans are waxing poetic about the need for quality starts, they’ll enviously wonder why Grilli wasn’t like that when he was with OUR TEAM, dang nambit.

And as I wrap this post up, Clay Rapada retired the last four Yankees to finish the 6-2 victory. And I feel okay. There’s hope for the bullpen. Perhaps this was the right time for Jason Grilli and Tigers fans to part. Besides… there’s always Zach Miner.